And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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