Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
