she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
