Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
