oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
