That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
