If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
