I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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