I'm drive I can fine osifer
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
