i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
