yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize