Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
