Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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