If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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