Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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