I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
