he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
