Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
