is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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