I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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