I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
