she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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