4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
