Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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