the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
