Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
