I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize