he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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