Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize