Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
