I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
