pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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