I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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