I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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