There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
