trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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