Where did you get a picture of my penis
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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