The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
