The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
