the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is wine microwaveable?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
