Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
