i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
