why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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