No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
