One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
