I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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