so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
