We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
