Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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