the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
