Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
