Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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