I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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