I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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