Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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