Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize