So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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