you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
