btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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