I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
