I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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