3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Say something about gay babies.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
