So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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