this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
