There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
