your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
