did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
