we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
