This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
