this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
