THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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