i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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