its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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